How To Save A Life
by pannybaby123
Summary: Have you ever felt like your at the crossroad of who you are and who you want to be? Well if you don’t I do me Meredith Grey, Dr. Meredith Grey that is. Caught between two men my boss and my vet, well ex vet. Caught between my job, my life, What’s wrong a
1. Intro

"How To Save A Life"

A/N: This is my first Grey's Fic, so flame away, be nice, w/e it is just tell me what you think love it hate it just let me know. Enjoy the into. - Joy

Have you ever felt like your at the crossroad of who you are and who you want to be? Well if you don't I do me Meredith Grey, Dr. Meredith Grey that is. Caught between two men my boss and my vet, well ex vet. Caught between my job, my life, What's wrong and what's right. Mcdreamy, Mcvet, and, Mclife . A Crossroad my crossroad, and mine alone. How to save a life, my patients life's, my friends and my life.

As a Doctor we face uncertainties the good and the bad. How to tell a patient there dying, or they need a life saving operation. How to help a friend no my family form crisis. How to choose between two men, one married and one a widow. How do we do the things we need to do. How do we choose what to face and what to hide form. Some times denial is the best way but all that repression comes back to haunt you. When it does you usaly do something stupid like sleep with your best friend and cry during it and breaking them. How do you fix something broken when you cant use your medical skills.

This is what I seek to learn how to fix me and all the damage I've done. Do I go after the one man I've truly ever loved who happens to be married? Do I settle for the sweet and caring widow? How do I help my best friend who just lost the man she loved. What about my other friend who's facing her own problems? So many problems with no solutions is this what life is meant to be like? This is my new mission in life to fix and figure out and be the best surgeon I can be. This is the new and improved Dr. Meredith Grey. Mcdreamy, Mcvet, Mcproblem, I'll get it right some how.

A/N: Please REVIEW! I beg of you... if you like the intro hate it.. Any ideas ... flames... ne thing just tell me something ... just review if I get 5 reviews ill post the first chapter


	2. Chapter 1

"**How To Save A Life"**

Disclaimer: forgot to put this in the first one oops... anyway I don't own Grey's I just love it. Enjoy

There are many roads in life, some more than others. The beaten path, the road less traveled, the famous Fork in the road. How do you know which road is meant for you. Which road will bring you to where you want to be. Would you choose the beaten path? All rough, rugged and at times painful. The road less traveled? The mystery, thrill and wonder. Or would you stay at the fork? Decision, fearfulness, and change. There is one more road you can take, when your desperate and need to hide. There's always a shortcut in every road, when you cant face up to What's ahead, the easy way out as most would say. Sometimes were to far into the road way past all the shortcuts and all we can do is put one foot in front of each other till we hit the end.

Its been a week a week since the prom. A week since I've been to the hospital. A week since I've seen or talked to Derek. A Friggen Week! My voice mail is full of messages, I have a million missed calls. All form two people who I cant talk to, not yet at lest. Friggen Mcdreamy and Mcvet. I've had a week off to take care of Izzie, and right now she comes first before any of my problems. Especially men problems, her problems are much bigger than mine. My men problems can wait right?

I've been trying all week to get Izzie out of bed, I've even tried bribing her with new cookbooks. She won't eat, she wont speak, she wont get out of bed and Im out of ideas.

"Izzie," Great she's not answering me at all now. "Izzie, It's time to eat, you have to eat" I sigh and lean against the door praying for an answer.

"Go Away Meredith" Ok not the answer I wanted.

"Izzie Please" Where's George when you need him.

"No Meredith, No Im not hungry. Im not getting out of bed. What ever your going to ask me the answer is No!"

It's not George I need Its Christina. Well her grieving was moving along nicely she was past the shock and crying and right smack down in the middle of rage. Screw it let her bit me head off. I opened the door and marched right over to her bed tray in hand.

"You have every right to be upset, but you have no right to hurt your self." I take a breath and look down at her. What I saw tore at my heart her eyes were so swollen, red and still had tears streaming down her face. "Izzie you need to eat, you need to get out of this room. Im not telling you to run back out into the world but you need to start some where." I sit next to her n push her hair back, she's still looking at me with the same expression. "We all love you Izzie and were all really worried and none of us could take loosing you"

"Im not dead or dying."

"You will if you don't take care of your self."

"Meredith"

"Izzie we don't want you to shut down either, plus I have a huge mcdreamy secrete im sitting on" I say with a slight smile as I lay down next to her.

Izzie just looks at me trying to figure out if im making it up or not.

"Something happed on prom night, god I sound like im in highschool"

"Nope just medical" (Izzie POV) Wow did I actually just smile it feels like its been forever.

"Good one, maybe I shouldn't tell you"

"No, no I want to know"

"Mcdreamy and, well we" (back to Meredith) I could only sigh why was it so hard to get the words out of my mouth.

"You what"

"Had sex"

"You what, Oh my god Meredith"

"I know, I know I didn't expect it to happen. He kept giving me Mcdreamy looks and I ran away. Only to have him follow me."

"Wow, I want details"

"Well we were fighting and then he grabbed me and Kissed me. Well you can gather the rest"

"Was it hot, hot steamy sex" Izzie was bouncing in her spot on the bed "Oh god not good for the best"

I could only sigh at the memory "It was great hot and steamy sex, best of all Callie walked in on us as we finished"

"She what, what did she say"

"She was looking for me, but she did fix my dress as I left."

"Humm maybe she isn't so bad"

"Maybe, maybe one day she'll going our Mcfamily"

"So were are those cookbooks you got me"

"Down stairs with an isle worth of baking goods"

"Seriously "

"Seriously" I had to laugh. "I think I might be banded form the supermarket they think im nuts"

"Who cares we'll send George" We both smile at that.

"So I go back to work tomorrow are you going to be ok"

"Yup I got my new cookbooks and a isles worth of baking goods, I'll be just fine"

"Why don't you take a shower, I think Alex and Christina are coming over after there shifts."

"Alex?"

"He's worried about you he's been calling all week"

"Wow, ok then guess ill take a shower if there coming over"

A/N: I know its short and im not 100 happy with it I don't really like the way this one came out. But for all I know you guys might like it. If you have any ideas or suggestions. Please tell me and As Always REVIEW! ill try to have the 3rd chapter out soon. Thanks!


	3. Chapter 2

"**How To Save A Life"**

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's I just love it. Enjoy

A/N: Thanks 4 all the reviews... and thanks Lily106 I know her name is spelt Cristina but I put the h out of habit lol my cousins spells it with the H but thanks 4 pointing it out to me I over looked it when I was proof reading... 3 more days till I get Season two of Grey's + season 2 cd and the book thing that they put out .. Yey! Lol enjoy ... Sorry if you get a little mixed up with POV's im experimenting with first person I usually write in 3rd ... so im gona end up switching back and forth if u get confused ill just fix it n re post the chapter.

Evidence, some how it always comes back to haunt us. As surgeons we are taught to be sterile, and always through. Were taught now to leave a trace of presents behind. There are those rare occasions where we rush. When Karma comes back to bit us in the ass. Its times like these we wish we had followed what we know. Why couldn't I remember all of that? Evidence it will be the death of us all.

First day back and all ready I feel like everyone's whispering behind my back. Maybe I'm imaging it, please tell me I'm imaging it.

"Meredith your back, how's Izzie"

"Cristina thank god you're here, Izzie's fine what about Burke?"

Christina smiled a true smile which a rare and beautiful sight. "Burke is great"

"So you two are ok now" Meredith asked carefully.

"Were Burke and Cristina"

"Good." Meredith nodded with a smile on her face.

"Good." Cristina also nodded but had a slight smirk on her face.

"Grey how was Izzie when you left." Alex walked over to the pair as he pulled his scrub top over his chest.

"She was baking."

"Baking" he paused and nodded. "Good."

"Why is everyone sitting around, Get up we got lives to save people" Dr. Bailey said as she held open the door. "O'Malley is waiting in the hall"

The three just nodded and walked out in to the hall where they found George staring at the Bulletin board in shock.

"George, snap out of it" Christina said slapping him outside the head.

Only to have George Point to the top left corner of the board.

"George what is I-" I stopped dead words leaving my mouth as I felt my thought close up. There right there pinned to the wall were my panties!

"Wow" was all Cristina was able to get out.

"Nice panties" I wanted to smack Alex when he said that.

"Who's panties are on this board" Bailey said loud enough for everyone in the hall to stair at her.

I couldn't breath, I felt like I was going to pass out and then something even worse happed.

"Moring Dr. Bailey"

"Dr. Shepherd would you look at this some idiots idea of a joke" she said as she pointed up at the board.

Derek almost choked on his coffee as he looked up at the board and then to me for a split second and the back to the board. Lucky for him only Cristina caught the look and she was now grilling me.

"I'll take them down... and depose of them" Derek reached up and took them down gently only to put them in his pocket. I wanted to die right there just drop to the floor dead, I really hate karma.

Bailey was eyeing Derek, she had that I know your up to something look on her face. "Well I have a surgery to get to, I'll see you all later" He nodded and as he walked away he sunk a glance at me.

"You are so telling me later" Cristina whispered to me.

I could only nod, Cristina had stuck by me threw all of my Mcdreamy drama. I knew she would be ok with everything maybe a little upset but ok in a Cristina way at least.

"Yang"

"Yes Dr. Bailey"

"How's Preston"

"He's doing a lot better the tremors minimizing, were still waiting for the swelling to go down. He shouldn't be here more than another week"

"Good, good. When he's released you should take a week off"

"Yes, Dr Bailey."

"And Yang"

"Yes"

"Get back to work"

"Right away" With that Cristina grabbed a few of her charts and was off.

"Grey what are you still doing here"

"Uh... grabbing chart's right now."

"Get"

"Dame interns never learn"

"Im sorry Dr. Bailey. Were trying"

"O'Malley" Miranda said rasing her voice about to explode. "Karev you to."

"Sorry, Im going" George said grabbing a few charts and running off. Tripping over his own feet, and just managing to stop him self form falling "Sorry" and with that he was gone.

Bailey could only sigh and started murdering under her breath. "Dame interns, they'll be the death of me"

Alex just smirked and walked off.

I met up with Cristina in the cafeteria, and I still think everyone's whispering behind my back. It's just a lovely day at Seattle Grace.

"Burkes mother is coming, Burkes mother for christ sakes."

"Those were my panties on the board"

"His friggen mother, I have to meet his friggen mother"

"I'm really a dirty whore, a dirty filthy whore"

"I need to get laid"

"I got laid at the prom last week, mind blowing sex, and now im a really a Filthy whore"

They both sighed and looked at each other.

"Mcdreamy?"

"The one and only"

"It was bound to happen, you had protection right"

My eyes go wide and I feel the blood run out of my body.

"Mer please tell me you weren't that stupid"

"I, we, oh god"

"Well we'll just have to pray your not"

"Oh god,"

"It's gona be ok I mean your probably save"

"Oh god,"

"Meredith say oh god again and im going to slap you"

"Im a whore"

"Yea right, and im the chief of staff." Cristina smacked my arm. "You love him Meredith and he knows that, if anything its his fault."

I start to hyperventilate.

"Meredith he was it for you, it not your fault he's an ass and didn't tell you about Satan." She started rubbing my back. "Now breath, before you make a scene. I need you to help me figure out a way to have sex"

I look at her an burst out laughing.

"Hey I can't help it."

"Well you could just get a sexy bra and panties set and where it under your scrubs."

"Humm, good idea. Go on"

"Play doctor with Burke, make sure you lock the door and have your way with him."

"That might just work"

"You could always page me and have me keep guard out side."

"Deftly works. See everything going to be ok." she said with a smirk. "Im gona have sex and your not a whore."

"But I could be pregnant"

"Meredith, stop making up problems, you don't know if you are," She smacked my arm. "Stop being so dame negative."

"Ok, ok. I'll stop I promise."

"Good, now Vicky Secretes?"

"Deftly"

"Good,"

A/N: See its longer... got a little MerDer with more to come... Also Burke and Cristina (Bang?)... maybe Addison will appear in a chapter... we shall see... much more to come so Please review... leave any comments suggestions and Such... Later... yea this would have been up last night but didn't wana work go figure


	4. Chapter 3

"**How To Save A Life"**

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's I just love it. Enjoy

Progress sometimes you can make It in the blink of an eye, Others its as slow as a snail. Sometimes quick and painless aren't in your vocabulary. When you feel like your broken into a million pieces. How can you fill that void, the void of a broken heart. The pain keeps coming sharp and ruthless. How do you make progress when there's none in sight and there's hell knocking at your door.

Surprises, I hate surprises, and wouldn't you know I got a friggen surprise. I stood watch for Cristina and Burke this afternoon, Cristina took over a week to find the perfect bra and panties set for Burke. Mind you there screams of exticy could be heard all the way to the lobby. Well I tried to stand guard but my body had other things in mind. All of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach and instead of puking my guts up in the hall way. I abandoned my post and ran to the bathroom. Bad sign number one, puking for no good reason. I hate my life, I hate Derek and lastly I hate my self. I need to take a nice little nap, I'll go lay down in the on call room. Hopefully no one will bother me there.

Sure enough about a hour later some one was shaking me.

"Meredith, wake up all ready"

"Cristina go away"

"Umm... how about no" Cristina shoved Meredith hard in the shoulder. "Now get up!"

"Fine Im up, Im up" Meredith sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes sleepy.

"Care to explain why you left your post."

Before Meredith could answer she bolted out of the bed and ran to the garbage pail and emptied her stomach again.

"Oh... Ok then"

I finished and wiped my mouth. "This would be the reason why I left my post."

"Meredith"

"I know Cristina, I know." Tears gather up in my eyes.

"Hey It's going to be ok" Cristina sat down next to Meredith on the floor and put her arm around her. "I'll be your person"

Meredith Laughed. "You're my person"

"Do you know what you want to do"

"Well concerning we don't know if im 100 no I don't"

"Stay here I'll go get you a test... Oh and guess who walked in on Burke and me"

"Who"

"His mommy"

Meredith burst out laughing and Cristina rolled her eyes and left.

"Addison, we need to talk"

"Now?" Addison said not even looking up form a chart.

"Soon, really soon"

"Ok Derek, we'll talk"

"We'll talk, soon."

With that they both went there separate ways.

"Cristina, what if Im, What im I going to do" Meredith was freaking out they were sitting in the on call room waiting for the test results.

"It will come to you, and what ever you choose you have me and the rest of our nutty family and Burke to."

"Burke"

"He's extended family"

"Like my second cousin twice removed and then married my sister"

"Something like that."

"Ok Burkes family to"

They both smiled.

"Aunt Cristina has a nice ring to it"

"Oh god Mer."

"What you'd be an Aunt if Im"

Cristina sighed. "Aunt Crissy it is"

"Crissy"

"Got a problem with it"

"Nope not at all"

The alarm on Meredith's watch went off indicating that the test was ready.

"I can't look"

"Stop being so dramatic" Cristina said picking up the pregnancy test and stared at it for a few minuets.

"Well" Meredith looked at Cristina anxiously.

"Aunt Crissy it is."

With that Meredith burst into tears.

Later on Meredith, Cristina, George and Alex gather up in there hallway. It was the first time they've been back there since Izzie quit the program, and it still felt kinda weird to all of them.

"Im having a Mcbaby"

"Meredith" Cristina hissed eyes wide at the bomb Meredith had just dropped.

"Your what" George was in shock.

"So those were your panties Shepherd took off the board" Alex said it normal no malice no sarcasm just plane and honest.

"Those would be mine"

"Your what" George repeated again

"O'malley open your ears, she's pregany with Mcassholes baby."

Meredith smiled at Alex. "You used the Mc"

Alex rolled his eyes. "Did you tell Mcasshole's yet"

"No, I just found out about McBaby"

"My Mchead is about to explode" George said rubbing his temples.

"What happed to the knitting"

"Went down the drain when Mcdreamy kissed me in an exam room and took of my panties and got me Mcpregant on prom night"

"Right, we'll if you need me to pound Mcassholes head in give me a holler."

"So how does Uncle Alex sound to you" Meredith said with a big smile on her face.

"Sounds good to me."

"Good"

"Great, now I got a patient waiting."

"Bye"

"Meredith how did this happen"

"I don't know George it just did, I didn't plan it" I sighed "But I have to deal with it now."

"Well Uncle Georgie is here to help"

"Georgie, Seriously" Cristina said with a laugh

"Seriously" George nodded and tried to ignore the two hysterical females. "Well im going back to work, since you to can't stop laughing."

"Aww George im sorry its just.." Meredith started laughing again.

"That's it" And with that George walked down the hall and out the door.

A/N: lol I know its still short but I'll probably write the next chapter tonight... you cant get too mad I've been updating at least once a day -... Hope you enjoyed... Any questions, comments or flames... just click the Little review button and leave them. I'll be more than glad to answer them. Laterz


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